By Tom
We’re at the halfway point for the MLB season, well the Cardinals season–the only one that matters. So it seems appropriate to write up a check-in blog, and hey while we’re at it, let’s first start with a check-in on the best damn country on the planet, the United States.
Well…cool I guess.
If you’re reading this and are hoping to find some centrist-y equivocator bullshit just skip down to the baseball section. The Republicans are evil, we here at this site hate them. They should be kept away from the levers of power like a chocolate covered infant should be kept away from a pitbull. If you’re a republican and reading this then…well, just skip down to the baseball section.
If you watched the debate you’ll see that everyones’ favorite big boy is making the rounds spouting white replacement theory, touting the death of Roe v. Wade, and a litany of other falsehoods that honestly don’t matter because his base doesn’t give a shit about facts. Trump’s GOP is dead set on adopting the Project 2025 initiative, a 180-day program that will greatly increase the executive branch’s power, kill off federal funding to state programs, restrict rights and protections for queer people, and eliminate Head Start. It will reshape how government appointees are selected and retained, completely dismantle government agencies, and rollback years of climate protections already set in place. If you’re trying to think of a word for this I have one for you: autocracy.
The GOP has done politics better than the other guys for the past 40 years. They’ve dominated the judiciary system at its highest level since the Nixon years and, despite winning the popular vote once in the last six national elections, have won 3 presidential elections in the 2000s. They’ve gerrymandered, bullied, and ratfucked the system at every level and have worked tirelessly as a cohesive mass of festering rot to seep through the cracks of decorum and civil respect to ensure that they have their moment.
Which, respectively, seems right now. They’re fucking evil, man. If you’re poor they want you dead. If you’re not-white they want you dead. If you’re a woman who doesn’t adhere to draconian Christo-fascist family values they want you dead. If you support your trans or gay friends they want you dead. If you’re trans or gay they really want you dead. Their entire platform is rooted in American nationalism conjoined at a pulsating asshole with western chauvinism and old-timey racism. America is not a melting pot of diverse thoughts and experiences, it is a nation of givers and takers and the ones doing the taking are the ones that conspicuously don’t look like their leaders in charge. These are the goons who defend confederate statues, using the state’s power to force minors to carry babies to birth, validating child marriages, staging insurrections and denying the validity of an electoral system that in the past 24 fucking years has always given them the benefit of the doubt. This is a late-stage empire in decay, it is the “weak men create hard times” portion of the meme–and it’s not from woke beer companies or microaggressions or theater kids complaining about pronouns or black people being in advertisements. It is from them. It always has been them. The people who have owned all the shares of the pie that don’t want to let others take a bite from it, these people are why we’re here. The conservative movement and who backs and represents them, all they want is for you to suffer and die miserable and bland devoid of blood and color.
Anyway, you’ll be relieved to know that the one man standing in the way of that is none other than Joe Biden. And boy is he looking good.
We’re so fucked, man.
Sorry, we may be so fucked, man. I have to type that out because liberals think me and my red brethren are overreacting. I mean, just look at the face of this 81 year-old democratic stalwart–why he looks like ten years younger here.
The Democrats are again touting out that this election–they swear this time–is the most important election ever. A slogan I remember as far back as 2012. It’s sort of incredible how the good guys in this scenario have been so politically indignant the last decade and some change. Biden says he will codify Roe v. Wade into law–he swears this time–even though he and his party can’t get him a full house and senate–or two very terrible, shitty people to support his agenda. Nevermind that during the Obama administration the Dems had the political capital to codify it into law, but…just didn’t. To quote our then dear leader it wasn’t “the highest legislative priority.” It’s always the most important election because the Democrats can’t govern.
It’s a lack of a killer instinct really. The Democrats want to play ball with the Republicans. The GOP is the attack dog of capitalism, the Democrats play cover-2 for it. Old blueheads speak fondly of hashing it out with their conservative colleagues over some drinks, and that despite their differences they respected each other at the end of the day. How sweet. And then in 2021 a failed coup happened, where some members of the Republican Party aided, encouraged, or incited the aforementioned insurrection. Their supporters wanted to kill democrats and hell, even some of their buddies like Mike Pence. Oh to live in simpler times.
This country is beyond its halfway point, but the Biden Administration has spent the last year doing whatever they can to make sure this election isn’t the lay-up it should be. Biden trails Trump in Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Nevada, Arizona, and Georgia…you know, states that he won in 2020. Take polls with a grain of salt and all, but I’m starting to think that the median voter is a little exhausted participating in the “election to save all elections”, oh that and whatever nightmare policies republican state officials can devise to suppress turnout. Biden and the Democrats continue to back Israel’s war in the Gaza Strip following Hamas’s October 7th attacks. Depending on what your definition of genocide is, Israel has killed over 30,000 Palestinians trapped in the Gaza Strip and continues to obstruct humanitarian aid to a civilian populace that has been displaced, malnourished, bombed, and terrorized. Depending how much truth you put into polling, most Americans are not fans of what Israel is doing in Gaza.
But hey, the President and his party are also not fans, they’re downright disturbed and they…uh, they’ve been doing their best to get a ceasefire going. YEAH. We’re almost there, only ten or twenty thousand more dead Palestinians are needed as their livelihoods are extinguished in front of them, their land and homes taken by Israelis, and their continued struggle living beneath the boot of a brutal theocratic and fascistic regime–and Hamas of course.
Progressive Democrats have been outspoken about Biden’s support for the Israeli War Crimes Generator. Squad members Jamaal Bowman and Cori Bush drew enough of the DNC and AIPAC’s ire that they got primaried. Bowman’s district got redrawn and his positions on Israel no doubt alienated the 100,000+ Jews that live in the 16th. AIPAC and many other pro-Israel groups dumped over $14 million in the most expensive House race in American history. Latimer also got the support of the party establishment, with Hillary Clinton emerging from her summer blood slumber to endorse him, along with Mondaire Jones and the guy Bowman beat Eliot Engel. Bowman lost decisively. Cori Bush is locked in a dead heat with Wesley Bell, her primary is August 6th. I can’t wait to see the money spent on that.
But hey, Biden is determined to run despite all this. The Democrats will do whatever it takes to cut the head off of the progressive snake when it shows itself. They’ll run against their left-leaning comrades and redraw their district, but not take the time to form a platform position on “Should Israel do an ethnic cleansing OR a genocide?” In the meantime they and their supporters will piss and moan about people like me not being excited enough to vote for their shitty-ass candidate and blame whatever happens on a few thousand too-online socialists they materialized in their brains for not voting. It’s not us who are out of touch and struggle to mobilize our base and build a coalition outside of down party voters, it’s those goddamn Bernie or Busters that did this! YEAH.
We’re set up for a repeat of 2016, folks. Liberals are even starting to chirp about Biden’s cognitive decline, the thing a lot of us have been saying for years because apparently getting old may affect your lucidity. How great to hand Trump a victory like a brokered convention or having to pick a different candidate to run for your incumbent after a debate where he performed so badly we all considered Jimmy Carter as a better alternative. The Democrats are in disarray, they’ve ALWAYS been in disarray. Do you honestly expect them to take time to wield power?
If you’re still feeling radiation sickness from watching two sundowning men cover all spectrums of brain paralysis, the 6-3 dominated conservative Supreme Court made it cool for your local Monsanto to dump toxic waste in your local drinking water and the EPA can’t do shit about it. Oh also the war on homelessness got a shot in the arm by giving cities the right to…punish unhoused people sleeping outside. Wow, if only there were enough homes for us to renovate and build for them. Well, too bad the market on empathy is at an all-time low, I guess we’ll settle for cruelty.
This country is going to be lucky to finish at .500. The way things are looking it’s going to get blown up and we’re going to get management that combines the evil frugality of Bob Nutting and the Hiterlite musings of Marge Schott. So hey, enjoy what’s left of the ride and make sure you do your part to get out there and vote in the most important election of our time…again. We promise, we’ll do something about it…eventually.
Anyway, time for some baseball.
The National League East has the Phillies sitting atop over the Braves by 8 games. I almost nailed this one, I figure the Braves would top the Phils here. The Fightins had two 7-game winning streaks and sport the 2nd best OPS in the league. They played some weak competition, but they are beating the teams they’re supposed to beat. Despite Bryce Harper and Kyle Schwarber hitting the 10-day IL with JT Realmuto–the latter being on the injured list since early June–the Phillies keep chugging along. They have their starting rotation to think for that, as Ranger Suarez and Cristopher Sanchez have combined for a 16-5 record and a 2.11 ERA across 190+ innings. God hates the Braves, as should everyone. They lost Spencer Strider not even a month into the season to TJ, and last year’s MVP Ronny Acuna Jr. going down with an ACL tear in late May–his second knee surgery. Sean Murphy missed two months of action to an oblique strain but he’s back and Michael Harris is also rehabbing from a hip impingement. There’s also AJ Minter and Tyler Matzek blah blah blah the Braves are beat-up. Lucky for them they have Chris Sale pitching like a Cy Young contender and converted reliever Reynaldo Lopez posting a sub-2 ERA across 79 innings. The Phillies are likely holding this division down the rest of the year but the Braves are gonna duct tape their way to 90 wins regardless. The Mets are rolling along too. I hate to give them any credit but ever since Pride Month the Gay Mets have shown their allyship by completely turning around their season. After a disastrous 9-19 May saw them fall to 24-33, these GAY BOYS went 16-6 in June, including a 7-game winning streak against the Padres and Rangers. They’re sitting a game over .500 and a game out of the NL Wild Card. Good for them, now please jail Pete Alonso and Brandon Nimmo.
The Nationals are decent as well, and the Marlins are awful. Skip Schumaker is getting dumped at the end of this year despite his entire rotation needing reconstructive elbow surgery. Maybe he will come home.
In the NL West of course it’s the Dodgers at the top and the Rockies at the bottom. Go me, I’m so smart. I figured the Diamondbacks and Giants nabbing the final Wild Card slots and the Padres finishing fourth, but right now the Mike Shildt led Friars are second in the division and hold the 2nd wild card spot. I like what Shildt has done in San Diego, he’s a goofball, but I think he’s a decent manager. Jake Cronenworth seems back, and Jurickson Profar is putting up All-Star numbers. That rotation has been nasty with knuckleballer Matt Waldron dazzling across 89 innings and filth-maestros Michael King and Dylan Cease striking out a combined 234 batters in 192 innings. The Giants are mangled I…I don’t know what to say really. Logan Webb has been great despite people telling me he’d regress. The guy is just good, and Jordan Hicks has been driving Cards fans mad all year with each morsel of success he finds in San Fran–he has a 3.36 ERA through 17 starts. The Diamondbacks have been nothing but a letdown. Jordan Montgomery and his division rival Blake Snell needed those spring training starts they missed out on. Snell is hurt with an ERA in the stratosphere, and Monty is losing his mind with a 67 ERA+. Good news for the pitching corps is that team ace Zac Gallen is coming back. The bad news is that the offense is largely inconsistent as Eugenio Suarez has a sub .600 OPS and last year’s ROY sparkplug Corbin Carroll has fallen the fuck offffff. Carroll has a .617 OPS, a 250 point drop from last year, and is on track to hit less than 5 homers. Something is wrong and if he doesn’t get right the D-backs are even finishing the season with 80 wins.
In the American League East I correctly guessed the Orioles leading the division and then pissed all over myself by suggesting the Blue Jays would finish second and secure a wild card spot. The Blue Jays are last in the division at 37-44, and they’re awful. Kevin Gausman is probably pitching through an exploded shoulder or elbow and anyone who closes a game for the Jays ends up injured. Vladdy Jr. is about the only Jays start that’s hitting well as George Springer has fallen off and Bo Bichette is in the midst of some severe regression. The Blue Jays best player right now is Isiah Kiner-Falefa. I am not joking.
Meanwhile, the Yankees are good! For now. The Red Sox have been riding their pitching to a 43-38 tune. The Sox reevaluated their pitching philosophy that could be best summed up as: Throw more breaking stuff, throw less shitty fastballs. The Rays are .500 and in fourth place.
In the AL Central it’s those pesky Cleveland Guardians sitting atop of the division with those plucky Twins and Royals in tow. I give up on guessing the AL Central. I said that whoever won the AL Central would win less than 90 games, well fucking Cleveland has the best record in the AL. I said they’d probably won’t have a wild card team, well the Twins and Royals have the last two spots. I said the Tigers would be my hot take and they would win the division, well they’re 8 games under .500 and have been 20-32 since May started. At least I was right about the White Sox, hooray.
The Mariners are leading the AL West despite having a team that strikes out and hits like shit. They have a .665 team OPS, that is awful. How are they 10 games over and leading the division by 5.5 games?
Well, because this is the Mariners we’re talking about, nothing can be normal or easy to explain. Despite having an offense that hits worse than the Cardinals, the Mariners are one of the best teams when the game is on the line. In high leverage situations, they carry a 139 wRC+, complete with a .289 average and a .842 OPS. Their best hitter this season is Luke Raley and his .743 OPS, everyone else is riding somewhere between “pretty bad” and “not very good.” They’d really be hosed if it weren’t for their pitching. Logan Gilbert is turning into an ace and if Bryan Woo stays healthy the M’s will have a rotation that should terrify anyone in the playoffs.
Behind them are the Astros who are pulling a reverse M’s this year, getting off to a terrible 10-19 start before rallying in June and July. They may catch the M’s. They probably will, it’s the Astros after all. They’ve been without Kyle Tucker for some time, but he’s on the mend and their pitching has been…uh, not bad enough to where their offense can’t keep up.
The Rangers are plagued by Marcus Semien’s typical “shitty or pretty” season and Corey Seager looking more like his 2022 self. They’re still without Jacob Degrom and their starting rotation consists of guys just good enough to keep you in a game. Unfortunately for them the Rangers offense has regressed so badly. At least they’re not the Angels or Athletics, whose owners should be shot from a cannon into a concrete wall.
Maybe Oli Marmol is a good manager afterall. Maybe his coaching staff is…eh the jury is still out on them. The Cardinals spent the offseason retooling a terrible pitching staff by adding two number 5 starters in Kyle Gibson and Lance Lynn, and a bonafide ace in Sonny Gray. They banked on their defense improving and their offense to be a top 10 caliber battery while Tommy Edman healed from wrist surgery. All of this had me listing the NL Central as a toss-up between everyone with the Cardinals having a window between 78-83 victories. They won today while writing this, so they’re currently on track to finish the year 83-79.
Early in the season the Cardinals fell flat on their faces dropping 2 of 3 to the White Sox en route to a 7-game losing streak. They were 15-24 until Oli Marmol got a well-timed ejection and the Cards rallied to salvage a 4-game series against the Brewers. The Brewers remain an oddity, because they really shouldn’t be this good, but here they are sitting 6.5 games ahead of us. Despite having two players on track for 20+ homers, Milwaukee carries a .730 team OPS. Rookie Brice Turang is gonna steal 50 bases and William Contreras is gonna finish top-10 in MVP votes. In typical Brewers fashion they took some like 33-year old Colin Rea and made him into a winner. Freddy Peralta hasn’t been as sharp and with the injury to Devin Williams, Trevor Megill has stepped up to save 17 games.
The Brewers are bound to hit a roadblock at some point this year. The next question is which NLC team is gonna take advantage of it. While the Cubs have faded into the cellar, they remain only 7 games under .500 and 5 games out of the last wild card spot. The Reds and Pirates are jostling for 3rd place, with the latter getting a huge shot of adrenaline from their rookie sensations in Jared Jones and Paul Skenes. The Pirates, and I cannot stress this enough, could win this thing.
The Cardinals sit in the final wild card spot and have been baseball’s best team since mid-May. Since that 7 game losing streak, they’ve gone 28-15 and climbed from the cellar to a midseason playoff spot. Some of the highlights include a three-game sweep of the Orioles, a 10-4 record against their divisional foes–not named the Brewers–and a 11-8 record against teams with a winning record–who are not the Brewers. The Cardinals have done this with their…pitching?
Ah yes, the thing we all knew would happen. John Mozeliak sure draws the ire of the locals to the point he admitted it. Mo’s out of here after next year but he’s looking to leave his successor with a decent foundation. The Cardinals have reshaped their pitching pedagogy and spent this offseason restocking on minor league depth. As of writing this, Randy Flores may have struck gold with 4th rounder Stanford Alum Quinn Mathews, whose punched out 110 batters in 74 innings to the tune of a 2.18 ERA between low and high-A ball. He’ll be in Springfield before the end of the year He just got called up and is starting in Springfield tonight. 1st rounder Cooper Hjerpe missed most of last season with elbow surgery, but he’s been dominant this season, finally earning a double-A promotion. In his last two starts he’s given up no hits across 10 innings along with 14 strikeouts. The kid is good. Tink Hence continues to stretch out, but he’s been limited lately after some chest tightness. He just made his way back after missing a week and a half, but he’s also been good (3.29 ERA, 73 Ks). Gordon Graceffo has been…good enough despite the 1.35 WHIP. He got called up and pitched 4 ⅓ innings of 1-run ball against the Reds in a mop-up game. He just got shuttled back to Memphis with 30 year-old Jacob Bosiokovic taking his place.
This is a whole lot to preface saying that the Lynn and Gibson signings are looking like steals for the next couple years while the young guns get closer to the show. Lance punched out his 1,000th batter as a Cardinal and pitched 6 scoreless innings today, lowering his ERA to 3.59. Lance lost a couple starts to work deep due to weather, but his 87 ⅔ innings of work this year has given the Cards a chance to win pretty much every one of his outings. Kyle Gibson has also been great throwing over 87 innings to the tune of a 3.70 ERA in 15 starts. Gibby has pitched into the 6th in all but 2 starts this season.
And of course there’s Sonny Gray, who missed two or three starts at the beginning of the year from a pulled hammy. The time off didn’t seem to effect him much, as Sonny’s first 5 starts saw him go 4-1 with a 0.89 ERA. Reality has caught up to him, but aside from a couple hiccups, including a recent one against the Reds, he’s been the ace we knew we were getting. He has 109 strikeouts through 87 innings of work. His career high is 205 back in 2019, and he might eclipse that and pick up some Cy Young votes along the way.
Miles Mikolas continues to disappoint in ways only he can create. Miles started off horribly before having a 7-start stretch from mid-May to mid-June that saw him shave almost 2 runs off his ERA. He’s still eating innings, sure, but he’s also eating shit. He got bailed out two starts ago against the Giants and just the other day he gave up 10 runs, 9 earned, against the Reds. But hey, he almost threw 5 innings! Mikolas’s 77 ERA+ suggests that all the things you’d consider with ERA–quality of hitter, ballpark, defense–are irrelevant because the pitcher doing so sort of sucks.
I’m happy Mikolas got his bag and extension. But I also don’t have to feel sorry for a conservative skizzbag and his queer-hating wife. Every time he gives up 5 runs in a win a part of my soul is restored.
Steven Matz got hurt, surprise! And then rehabbed and got hurt again. He’s not expected back until August…maybe later, or never. Zack Thompson blew chunks and was sent down. The Cardinals have been running a merry-go-round in the five-slot ever since, cycling between Andre Pallante and Matthew Liberatore. Pallante worked from the ‘pen and was awful, so much so he got also got a demotion to Memphis. He’s come back and this time has been on a starter’s regime. The results are…good, he’s 4-2 across 28 innings with a 3.86 ERA. Way better than expected. Liberatore has been a lefty specialist out of the bullpen this season–thankfully he’s stuck around so far–but has gotten the occasional spot-start that the Cardinals seem to spring on him last second. The results have been as you’d expect, but in his last start Libby tossed 6 scoreless against the Braves. You figure they’d pick one lane or the other with him, but I’m just happy he hasn’t been demoted yet–but also quite terrified that the role they’re planning to give Graceffo will turn into the shitshow that has plagued Libs the past few years.
Our revamped bullpen got hurt because OF COURSE. Keynan Middleton is done for the year and there’s no ETA on Riley O’Brien yet. Andrew Kittredge has been good, so much so you can hear parts of Cardinals Twitter finally shutting the fuck up over the trade that brought him here–Richie Palacios, God love him, is doing fine in Tampa with a .676 OPS and a 1.5 bWAR. Giovanny Gallegos tanked so hard he got some time off for a shoulder impingement and has worked his way back–we’ll see how this goes. JoJo Romero has been solid and rule-5 pickup Ryan Fernandez is exactly as good as we hoped he’d be–2.21 ERA across 36 innings. Ryan Helsley has been shaky recently–he had a rough May where he gave up 4 runs across 9 innings–but he saved his league-leading 30th game today. Helsley hasn’t been gassing guys up–in fact, the strikeout numbers are lower across the board for everyone in the ‘pen–but you’ll probably take 30 for 31 in save opportunities anyday. If only there was some way we could use Helsley less and give him the day off…
Hmmmmmm…
Listen, it’s one hundred percent the offense’s fault.
I mean that. If you told me, “Hey Tom, this pitching staff is gonna be 15th in the league in ERA, 10th in FIP, and 14th in fWAR,” I’d shit myself a new dick. I would assume this team had 50 wins at this point.
Well they don’t. Much like the Democrats the Cardinals offense is in disarray. After today they leapfrogged the Reds from 20th to 19th in the league in OPS (.682). Projections had the Cardinals sporting a top-10ish offense, but guess what!
Tommy Edman is still hurt, with no definitive timetable. Lars Nootbaar cracked a rib farting or something. Jordan Walker hit so poorly in April that he got sent down to Memphis where he’s been ever since. We fucked up Victor Scott II by making him our Opening Day centerfielder where, and you’ll be surprised to learn this, but he wasn’t big league ready. Victor hit .085 in 65 plate appearances before getting sent down where he’s struggled in AAA. Dylan Carlson impressed with his hitting in Spring Training before a shoulder injury shelved him for the first two months of the season. He’s come back and is slowly climbing back above the Mendoza Line. This outfield is awful, and management knew about it but thought they could get by.
Thank God for Michael Siani, who may just fuck around and win a gold glove this year. He ain’t very good with the stick but he might be the most impressive defender this year in all of baseball. I’m not shitting you with that. In 497 innings of work he has a DRS of 5 and 12 Outs Above Average. The man has a 1.1 fWAR and an OPS barely above .600. I love Siani, I’m so happy for him.
The incredible drop-off in offensive prowess can mainly be pinned on our power hitters. Not Willson Contreras, who sported an OPS over .900 before getting his arm broke by JD Martinez. No, it’s the three guys we all thought would either bounce back or take another step. That’s the Goldschmidt, Arenado, and Gorman train. Where do we start.
Nolan Gorman, sure. He’s going to hit 30 homers this year if he doesn’t get sent down. People have compared his ‘24 season to Joey Gallo but Gallo at least gets on base. Gorman is hitting .187 with a sub 10% walk rate, leaving us with a player proudly carrying a .268 OBP. He’s also slugging .397 as well and is second in the league in strikeouts behind only Elly De La Cruz. Gorman loves to have spurts where he’s hitting like prime Albert Pujols. From May 10th to June 11th he bashed 11 homers and slugged .689. The problem with Nolan Gorman is that when the man is cold he’s not like, you know, a low .200s with an occasional bomb…he’s freezing. If we take out that aforementioned 26 game stretch, Gorman is 23 for his last 170, good enough for a .135 batting average. Oh and if you’re not a fan of batting average, he has 43 total bases outside that span. That’s good enough for a .253 slugging percentage. The man is completely lost.
Hey if we’re looking at top five guys in strikeouts in the NL, you’ll see his partner in mediocrity Paul Goldschmidt. Goldy has never struck out 200 times in a season, but he’s gonna this year! Pauly is slashing .225/.294/.361 with an 86 OPS+. Last year was a down year for Goldy where he finished the year with 25 homers and a .810 OPS. Boy the nuts I would give for him to be remotely near that right now.
He’s walking less (8.5%), striking out more (29.0%), and has a .528 OPS in high leverage situations. This despite his savant page being filled with a lot of red. Goldschmidt has gotten off to cold starts in the past, but not like this. I mean, this is bad.
His partner Nolan Arenado, is determined to outdo in the MID-Off. Arenado was plagued with back issues last year that eventually led to him being shut down in September. He said he was fine and ready to go but sure enough, that ugly ass two-handed swing started showing up. Last week he took a fastball off his throwing elbow, where he also learned he’d been battling tendinitis in that same elbow–like I don’t know what else needs to happen for him to go on the IL, does he need to get shot with a cannonball?
He’s hurt. He’s still fucking hurt. He is an average player right now. He has a 1.3 fWAR, a 100 wRC+ and is on track to finish with his lowest home run totals since his rookie year–10 fucking years ago. SHUT HIM DOWN.
I have to wonder what value an injured Arenado brings that can’t be duplicated by someone like Brendan Donovan or even Jose Fermin. We’ve been tossing Brandon Crawford at the hot-corner, let him get a couple starts so Nolan can catch his breath. He’s got a .638 OPS in situations when the game is on the line, him and Goldy are so unclutch this year that we might as well have them bunt. Nolan’s got a .695 OPS and the worst exit velocity of his career (85.1 mph). I repeat, our thirty million dollar power hitter is hitting the ball like Isiah Kiner-Falefa. He’s not hitting the ball hard this year. What the fuck are we doing?
Oli Marmol took a couple months but finally started shuffling the lineup. Our godsend this year has been the rookie Masyn Winn, who is outperforming all expectations. Winn was hitting over .300 through June before finally getting into a slump. His hot streak got him ABs as the team leadoff man, a role I’m sure he’ll relinquish when Noot gets back to St. Louis. Our other team hero is Alec Burleson whose hard-hit woes have finally turned around for him this year. Burly is on track for 20+ homers and a maybe a 2.0 fWAR. He fields like shit but offensively he’s sporting a .277 average and a .767 OPS. He’s our best hitter right now.
I’m not joking. Contreras is back, so I guess he’s the man. But Burly and Winn have been the best hitters for the Cardinals all season. I always thought we should have traded Burleson, I guess we better lock him up. Maybe we’ll trade Goldy and have him slide in a la Christian Walker.
Anyway, I guess things could be worse. This team has a minus-40 run differential. They’ve been blown out by 5 or more runs 12 times this season and have only returned the favor 4 times. Luckily they’re 15-11 in one-run games. Defensively the Cardinals have improved to being middle of the road by DEF and FRV standards.
With Edman’s status completely up in the air, and the other glaring holes in the outfield and infield, the Cardinals are planning to shop for a potential starting pitcher and right handed outfield bat. Pallante’s success may have them skip over that go straight for some sort of offensive jolt. They need it.
They really shouldn’t be in the position they are. The pitching has been good enough. Gray has added some much needed swing and miss stuff, but the rest of the team has regressed in that department. While the Cardinal defense has much improved compared to last year, we could probably chalk up some of that improvement to Jordan Walker’s demotion and Michael Siani’s unreal play in centerfield. Brendan Donovan remains steady as ever, and his numbers are climbing after spending a brief stint on the IL. There aren’t many reinforcements coming for the Cardinals, and they don’t seem likely to make a big splash at the trade deadline but instead bring whoever can patch and pray away the most glaring potholes on this roster.
And there’s a lot of those. The 40-man remains a mess complete with infielders way past their expiration date and utility. The organizational depth that we have tapped into has generated mixed results. Siani has hit like shit and is only saved by the fact he’s all we have left and his defense is golden. Pedro Pages has shined as a pitch-framer while Ivan Herrera recovers from back tightness–Pages can also throw runners out unlike poor Ivan. The three most glaring holes are Gorman, Goldy, and Arenado. Gorman can be busted down to the bottom of the lineup or given a Memphis ticket to straighten himself out, but Goldy and Arenado are two problems that remain unsolvable.
I would say if the Cardinals dramatically fall out of contention we could see Goldy on the move, but I don’t imagine anyone taking on $25 mil a year for a substandard bat. Father time seems to have finally caught up to him and Arenado. So it goes.
This is probably their last hurrah if I had to guess. The old-timey Cardinals with their old-ass rotation and old-ass bench players have pieced together a respectable halfway win-loss mark. Good for them, but they’re operating on luck and their bullpen right now. The Cards own the third worst OPS with RISP (.640) ahead of the lowly Athletics and White Sox. To their credit, when the game is really on the line–high leverage–they’re bashing a respectable .714 OPS, good enough for 16th in the league.
The lack of consistent clutch and just consistent offense from their two highly paid, but aging, stars leaves the Cardinals in a particularly vulnerable position as they head into July. They weathered an early season storm that saw them face some of the toughest competition in the league, and to their credit, they managed to navigate it and not lose their season like they did last year–and folks, it was as bad as last year. They still have a ton of stiff competition they’re face in the second half of the season, and if they can’t get their stars and offense rolling, then this part of the season may be our summit for the year.
Home of The Worst Fans in Baseball Podcast 
Leave a comment