by Tom
The League Division Series is underway and we’ve already been treated to a ton of exciting baseball. The Houston Astros came back against the Mariners–sigh–scoring 5 runs in the last two innings, including a 3-run walk-off home run by Yordan Alvarez. The Atlanta Braves almost came back against the Philadelphia Phillies who held on for a 7-6 win at Truist. The Dodgers jumped out to a quick lead and subdued the Padres in their 5-3 Game 1 win.
Oh, there was another game too; the Yankees and Guardians. There was some interesting things in that game as well, like Harrison Bader’s first bomb for New York since being traded by the Cardinals, Anthony Rizzo’s 2-run insurance blast in the 5th, Gerrit Cole pitching 6 ⅓ dominant innings, or Steven Kwan’s leadoff homer into the short porch, probably after some Yankees fan said racist shit to him.
But dear children, that’s not why we’re here. For every meaningful act of heroism in sport, there’s an equally fulfilling display of ineptitude.
John Donaldson has had…a season, to say the least, with the Yankees. New York traded for him and Isiah Kiner-Falefa in exchange for Gary Sanchez and Gio Urshela. Donaldson is owed over $21 million this season and next before a team option can be enacted in 2024.
Donaldson’s first season in the Bronx has been underwhelming to say the least. While he has put up a respectable 1.6 fWAR for the season, that value has primarily come from his defense. Offensively, Donaldson is having the worst full season of his career, posting a 91 OPS+ and a 97 wRC+. The Bringer of Rain has been beaten up the last couple years including this one, as he appeared in only 132 games.
Donaldson’s offense has been the 2nd worst for qualified 3rd baseman this year by Offensive Runs. His 1.6 fWAR is also 3rd lowest out of 22. Donaldson failed to hit 20 home runs this year, a feat he has accomplished every season with at least 400 plate appearances. His .682 OPS was “bested” only by young defensive phenom Ke’Bryan Hayes’s .659 mark.
Josh Donaldson has also struggled with his public image. He has routinely clashed with fellow players, coaches, and umpires for his hyper-competitive nature, aka he’s an asshole. This past season he stirred controversy when Tim Anderson took offense at Donaldson referring to him as “Jackie”, a reference to a SI article where Anderson likened himself to the great Jackie Robinson–the context also being that Anderson’s style of play drew the ire of some of baseball’s old guard. Anderson doesn’t like that Donaldson calls him that and made it pretty clear. Donaldson couldn’t stop stumbling over his own dick and balls and was apparently hurt when his teammates didn’t have his back.
So now that you know all that, it shouldn’t surprise you that Donaldson is desperate for things to go his way for once. Yesterday he hit a 97.7 mph shot to the right field corner. Balls hit that hard carry between a 4.2% and 5.5% chance of leaving the yard, but this is THE short porch we’re talking about. Donaldson’s shot was so close to being a big fly however…
Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Oh man, what a doofus.
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